I went golfing yesterday and today. I don't get a chance to go all that often, but I really enjoy it when I go. Before yesterday, the last time I went golfing was in September. Six months off isn't doing any favors for my game, but I think my biggest problem is that I have no idea what I'm doing. At all.
My mom's coworker tried to teach me how to golf when I was about 12. We went to Four Lakes in Taylorsville and, as I remember it, I was pretty good. The rentals were sweet. I was hooked and finally convinced my mom to get a starter set of clubs. I have gotten progressively worse since that first purchase.
I have disfigured at least two dozen people with my slice. Some of the scars will heal, the mental ones probably won't. No one is safe being anywhere near me. I have ricocheted balls off of trees, practice mats at the driving range, feet, the shaft of the club, poles, old ladies, boy scouts, and daytime hookers. And that isn't an exhaustive list.
Even though I suck and probably won't ever get any better, I keep going. Part of the fun is occassionally hitting a good shot and thinking, just for a second, that I might not be the worst golfer ever. After I hit a good shot, I try to remember exactly what I did so I can do it again on the next shot. I just end up causing more problems than anything. Maybe I need to change my grip? My stance? My swing? My tempo? My club?
Maybe I need to change my attitude? A little less of this and little more of this. The older I get, the more I realize that Rodney Dangerfield and Journey can solve just about any problem. If more people would just take time out of their day to listen to "Anyway You Want It" and really listen to it, the world would be a better place. I'm sure my handicap would go down. It is probably easier said than done, but I'm going to give it a shot. If it doesn't work, I might have to break the swearing streak. It is getting old anyway.
So, if I go golfing with any of my faithful reader(s), please remind me of who I am and what I'm about. I am a Journey fan and I'm all about rockin' out.
8 comments:
I haven't ever actually played a round (is that what it's called?) of golf with you, but I've been to the driving range with you and that was scary. Luckily, your ball missed my face and got my back instead. And since no one but you sees my back anyway the scars don't bother me that much. But you'll get better! Don't stop believing! Hold on to that feeling!
I've gotta say that I was pretty impressed when you tried that chop shot and knocked the ball straight down into the earth so far that it was lost... I've seen some trick shots in my day but that was impressive.
Aren't you glad I made you wear a batting helmet, Liz?
Well, you always say safety first. Don't want those flying balls to endanger the money maker. (That would be my face.)
Remind me not to let my husband go with you anymore. His face is way too precious to have balls flying at it.
Rosie O'Donnell taught you how to golf? Did she also teach you how to scratch and spit? That's one nasty butch lady!
No one had to teach me how to strach or spit. I was born with those skills.
Rosie may not have taught him to scratch or spit, but she sure taught him the ways of hair gel...
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