I bet you thought you'd heard the last of me. Well, loyal reader, you were dead wrong. I'm back!
FYI, I finished taking the bar exam today (see you in February, bar examiners). I'm glad to have that out of the way, but, as of today at 4:30 I am no longer a law school graduate studying for the bar exam, I am just an unemployed law school graduate. Sort of sucks.
Needless to say, today was a little bitter sweet. I was looking for something awesome to brighten my day, but I wasn't too hopeful. Lizzy did great on the crockpot lasagna, but stupid tenants at the apartments (save that one for another blog) kept bugging me so I couldn't enjoy my dinner.
And then it happened. Like he has done so many times in the past, Bret Michaels comes along to light a candle to illuminate the darkness that surrounds me.
Bret is the star of a new reality show on VH1 called Rock of Love. You already know the premise of the show, a guy is put into a big house with a bunch of girls who are tying to woo him and become, in this case, a rock star's (or is that a former rock star's) girlfriend. In many ways it is like every other show: tons of editing to make something watchable out of pure crap, obvious coaching by producers, and completely ridiculous "dates." But this shows adds a certain something extra. It took me a long time to figure out exactly what makes this show the best ever, but after literally several seconds of thinking it finally made sense.
First, I'm a HUGE Poison fan. I had the privilege of going to their 1999 show at Rocky Mountain Speedway. It was Poison's first tour in years and they were touring with L.A. Guns, Warrant, and RATT. (Sidenote: That was the first and only time that a sweaty, shirtless, drunken Native American tried grinding me). It was a great show.
Second, my wife married me basically because Poison is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Add Poison and a classy Bronco (yes, that's me) and you've got a deadly combination that a girl from West Jordan can't resist.
Third, I basically wrote the end of Something to Believe In "You take the high road, I'll take the low road." If you ask me, that made the song a hit.
Fourth, the only thing better than a stripper twenty years past her prime is a dozen strippers twenty years past their prime. Since the missus is sitting next to me, I won't run a Google search for strippers. Anyway, they are some classy chicks.
Fifth, and finally, Bret's phrase for the rose ceremony (in this case, a backstage pass) is, "Will you stay and rock my world?"
I don't know about Rodeo, Chastity, Faith, Dusty, Roxxy, or the other girls, but I will, Bret. I will.
25 July 2007
14 March 2007
iPod Changed My Life
There are very few positive aspects of being a law student. The following comment from Tyler Durden seems appropriate: "If the applicant waits at the door for three days without food, shelter or encouragement, then he can enter and begin training." For the record, Project Mayhem is way more interesting than law school. Given the choice between the two, you should choose the former.
Despite the difficulties presented by law school, there are some perquisites that are pretty nice. One of the best one is free access to online databases that contain tons of interesting information like mortgage records, arrest records, and average income in your ZIP code. If you are creative enough to come up with the right search terms, you can find pretty much anything you want. There are two major companies who operate the databases and for the most part they are almost identical in terms of material available. The database proprietors stand to make a lot of money by getting law students hooked on their particular service, so they give us free access to a lot of their content. Not only that, but they give us reward points for answering questions that demonstrate your understanding of their services. Moreover, a few times each semester the respective companies send sales reps who provide free lunch and even more reward points just for attending training sessions.
I have attended every training session since my first year of school (often choosing to go to training sessions instead of less practical meetings about job hunts and networking). Needless to say, I have had a lot of free meals and earned a lot of rewards points.
In December I cashed in some of my points and "bought" the family an iPod. Although we haven't used it as much as I thought we would, it is slowing becoming a necessity for any trip outside of the house. I take it with me when I check the mail, and it saved my life on a flight from Portland to Las Vegas.
The best place I have found to use the iPod is the grocery store. We shop at WinCo, the greatest store in world. Actually, it is a pretty bare-boned store. The kind of place where you bag your own groceries, try to stay out of the way of the employees, and make sure you sanitize your hands when you leave.
The first time I took the iPod, I was a little nervous. I didn't want to look like a wiener. Most of the folks to the WinCo are somewhere south of affluent, so walking around with an iPod can look a little out of place. I quickly got over my initial fears and now I only go grocery shopping if I have the iPod with me.
I keep the iPod on shuffle so that I can listen to a bunch of different songs. On Saturday my setlist was especailly appropriate for a trip to the store.
First song, Harvester of Sorrow by Metallica.
When you walk into WinCo you walk through a chute that spits you out at the produce section. If you're not pumped up when you get to the end of the chute there is a good chance that you will be trampled by these guys getting great deals on bananas.
Second song, 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins.
It is a good song.
Next up, A New Hope by blink 182.
I don't really like blink 182. They are on the iPod to make the missus happy. But I listened to the song at the store and it was fun. I don't think this the actual video, but since my loyal reader is also a Star Wars fan, re will love it.
There were a bunch of other songs in here, but I don't really remember what they were. Probably some Poison and Tesla. I was busy pricing meat.
I closed the set with A Plea from a Cat Named Virtue by The Weakerthans.
If you don't like this band, you suck. Best band to come out of Canada with the exception of The Guess Who, Alanis Morresette, and Rush.
It was a good song to wind down and get ready to bag my groceries.
I put the iPod away before I get to the checkstand because I'm an excellent bull sh*tter and I like to chat up the checker.
Lots of people use iPods when the exercise. Those people are idiots. If you haven't used yours at the grocery store, you need to start. I would say I'd be interested in hearing your experiences with songs, but I would be lying.
Despite the difficulties presented by law school, there are some perquisites that are pretty nice. One of the best one is free access to online databases that contain tons of interesting information like mortgage records, arrest records, and average income in your ZIP code. If you are creative enough to come up with the right search terms, you can find pretty much anything you want. There are two major companies who operate the databases and for the most part they are almost identical in terms of material available. The database proprietors stand to make a lot of money by getting law students hooked on their particular service, so they give us free access to a lot of their content. Not only that, but they give us reward points for answering questions that demonstrate your understanding of their services. Moreover, a few times each semester the respective companies send sales reps who provide free lunch and even more reward points just for attending training sessions.
I have attended every training session since my first year of school (often choosing to go to training sessions instead of less practical meetings about job hunts and networking). Needless to say, I have had a lot of free meals and earned a lot of rewards points.
In December I cashed in some of my points and "bought" the family an iPod. Although we haven't used it as much as I thought we would, it is slowing becoming a necessity for any trip outside of the house. I take it with me when I check the mail, and it saved my life on a flight from Portland to Las Vegas.
The best place I have found to use the iPod is the grocery store. We shop at WinCo, the greatest store in world. Actually, it is a pretty bare-boned store. The kind of place where you bag your own groceries, try to stay out of the way of the employees, and make sure you sanitize your hands when you leave.
The first time I took the iPod, I was a little nervous. I didn't want to look like a wiener. Most of the folks to the WinCo are somewhere south of affluent, so walking around with an iPod can look a little out of place. I quickly got over my initial fears and now I only go grocery shopping if I have the iPod with me.
I keep the iPod on shuffle so that I can listen to a bunch of different songs. On Saturday my setlist was especailly appropriate for a trip to the store.
First song, Harvester of Sorrow by Metallica.
When you walk into WinCo you walk through a chute that spits you out at the produce section. If you're not pumped up when you get to the end of the chute there is a good chance that you will be trampled by these guys getting great deals on bananas.
Second song, 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins.
It is a good song.
Next up, A New Hope by blink 182.
I don't really like blink 182. They are on the iPod to make the missus happy. But I listened to the song at the store and it was fun. I don't think this the actual video, but since my loyal reader is also a Star Wars fan, re will love it.
There were a bunch of other songs in here, but I don't really remember what they were. Probably some Poison and Tesla. I was busy pricing meat.
I closed the set with A Plea from a Cat Named Virtue by The Weakerthans.
If you don't like this band, you suck. Best band to come out of Canada with the exception of The Guess Who, Alanis Morresette, and Rush.
It was a good song to wind down and get ready to bag my groceries.
I put the iPod away before I get to the checkstand because I'm an excellent bull sh*tter and I like to chat up the checker.
Lots of people use iPods when the exercise. Those people are idiots. If you haven't used yours at the grocery store, you need to start. I would say I'd be interested in hearing your experiences with songs, but I would be lying.
31 January 2007
23 January 2007
Similarities?
Everyone who has seen Nathan Jr. and me together says that we look a like. The only similarity I see is that we are both generally bored out of our minds.
Synergy!
So, like most Tuesday afternoons, I was spending some time looking at the websites for some of my favorite LDS performers and stumbled upon this gem:
As you know, Orin Hatch is the reason I decided to become a lawyer and Barry Manilow is the reason my wife and I are married. This picture for me is like a picture of Cindy Crawford and Michael Jordan together to a 14 year old boy in 1992: it explains my entire existence.
Links to some of my other favorites:
www.jannicekappperry.com, www.kurtbestor.com, www.jonschmidt.com
As you know, Orin Hatch is the reason I decided to become a lawyer and Barry Manilow is the reason my wife and I are married. This picture for me is like a picture of Cindy Crawford and Michael Jordan together to a 14 year old boy in 1992: it explains my entire existence.
Links to some of my other favorites:
www.jannicekappperry.com, www.kurtbestor.com, www.jonschmidt.com
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